I Must Be Dreaming
by Cassi Merridew
Summary: It was that moment she realized that the heart knew no bounds. After all here she was falling for the person who haunted her nightmares, who killed her friend, and who showed her that every man was a savage within. Jack/OC. After the island story.
1. Prologue

Suicide was seen by many as a sign of the weak. This was a cold bitter truth she was all too aware of. What most people didn't realize was those who attempted it thought the exact same thing. Yes, Cassandra Croswell knew full well that she had been so weak that she couldn't handle life anymore.

She had thought for many months about suicide. She weighed the pros and cons very carefully for she was after all a very intelligent girl who always tried to think before acting. She internalized all her feeling bottling them up giving them nowhere to go. "_It's unhealthy to hold it all in_," she recalled the grey-haired psychologist her father had hired said to her the very day she had attempted to end her own life.

Why was she so desperate to die? It was the question that so many people wanted to ask but so few did. The answer however was fairly simple. She had seen firsthand the cruelness and savagery that lies within every man's heart. Cassandra was part of a group of what is now called, the island kids. She along with nine other girls and nineteen boys had been left on an uninhabited island when their evacuating plane crashed due to weather complications. Of the twenty-nine children that originally survived the crash only twenty-two remained. Three of the children died on the island and four of them had taken their own lives after the fact. She would have been the fifth. It had been eight months, three weeks, and five days since they left the island. It had been seven months and six days since her brother had been locked up in Hanwell Asylum. It had been six months since her friend Ralph Fletcher had killed himself. It had been one month and tree days since she tried to kill herself.

Her father 'suggested' she moved to a new school, and by suggested, she meant he told her she was going to the new school whether she liked it or not. The school itself wasn't so awful. It was a special school known as Bloomington's Art Academy where students from all over England with advanced talents in the arts (she was blessed not only with an amazing talent for writing but also high skill in the visual arts as well) would come to study and develop their skills. Not only did it have an outstanding arts departments but it was also one of the highest ranked schools in academics in all of Europe. That didn't bother Cassandra quite as much as the fact she would be leaving behind her two best friends in the world, the boys who had been there through it all, Sam and Eric (who were constantly referred to as Samneric due to the fact they were twins and functioned mostly as a single unit). She was so afraid that without her best friends she would be sucked back into depression and constant fear. No matter how much she begged, or pleaded, or argued with her father she ended up sitting in the car in the Bloomington parking lot September first, her bags packed and ready (though she distinctly remembered unpacking everything her stepmother had tried to pack) for the long stay until Christmas holiday.

"Come now Cassi," Mr. Croswell said sternly nearly dragging his daughter out of the car and into the building. "What could possibly go wrong?"


	2. Thoughtless

**_A/N: Hullo everyone! First of all I would like to thank all of you for reading my story seeing so many visitors makes me very happy although I would love to hear what you think so please review. Second of all I would like to thank my beta Hammsters for looking over it for me. Please enjoy!_**

The counselor's office was cold, cramped, and smelled like cats. Cassandra had plenty of time to realize this as she was stuck sitting Mrs. Arnold's office for a good two hours. A large oak desk took over most of the small space and a pair of matching, rather uncomfortable looking oak chairs, one of which she was occupying, stood in front of the desk next to the thick wooden door that lead out into the main office. To add to the overall uninviting disposition of the room the walls were painted a rather unpleasing shade of pea-soup green.

The first forty five minutes in the dully decorated office where spent with the zealous counselor going over the rules of the school, which Cassandra had of course expected, but what the teen hadn't expected was for the mousy haired woman to go on an hour long rant about how lucky a girl like her was to be at the school.

"I'm sure your father told you," the bony woman said, shuffling through the papers on her desk looking for Cassandra's timetable, "that it's very hard to get accepted into Bloomington's let alone get in after the deadline for registration has passed! Once Mr. Lloyd, he's the head of the visual arts department you know, well, once he saw the painting your father had sent he walked straight to the headmaster's office and demanded you be brought here immediately!" The old woman shook her head. "Never in all my years, and I've had plenty of 'em mind you," she chuckled slightly revealing crooked, lipstick stained teeth, " never have I seen any child be accepted after term had already started." Luckily for Cassandra the torture of listening to the woman's gravelly voice was almost to an end as it was at this point she found the timetable.

Cassandra skimmed over the time table quickly before shoving it into the pocket of her black skinny jeans. "All that's left now is to get one of the prefects down here. They'll be showing you around the campus and leading you to your classes for the first few days," the old woman was talking mostly to herself now as she adjusted the thick spectacles on the bridge of her nose and began jabbing away at the keyboard of her ancient computer. Cassandra took a deep breath in a futile attempt to calm her self down, yet the stale air did nothing for her jittery nerves. She tugged at the sleeves of her black jumper, something that had become somewhat of a habit to her as of late. She had taken to wearing long sleeves ever since she... she wore them to cover up the scars.

For what felt like hours to Cassandra (though she knew it was probably just minutes) the only sound in the room was the heavy clicking sound of Mrs. Arnold's skeletal finger's tapping away on the keyboard. "Got just the one," the old woman exclaimed her black shoes making a dull click on the dark linoleum floor as she made her way to retrieve the said prefect from class. The silence was deafening and the raven haired girl's breathing echoed throughout the room. She felt her stomach twisting its self into tighter knots with each passing second. _What if no one likes me? What if I end up all alone? What if they're all savages?_

"Cassi," a familiar voice breathed and the teen jumped in surprise turning to face the door. So lost in her worry Cassi hadn't even noticed the obnoxious clack of Mrs. Arnold's heels approaching the office. There standing next to the grinning counselor was the person she knew to be the quintessence of savagery, the person she hated, yet loved with all her heart. Standing next to the old woman, prefect badge shining proudly on his chest, was none other than Jack Merriew. No more than two seconds after she saw the familiar crop of red hair, Cassi Croswell fell to the floor unconscious.


	3. Its Not What It Seems

**_A/N: Hullo everyone! First of all I would like to thank all of you for reading my story seeing so many visitors makes me very happy although I would love to hear what you think so please review. Second of all I would like to thank my beta Hammsters for looking over it for me. Please enjoy!_**

_"Cassi... Cassi...," the voice called out to her like a parent calling out to a child who was playing hide and seek. "Where are you Cassi?" The tone sent a shiver of fear down her spine, the owner of the voice knew exactly where she was as she stumbled through the creepers. The world seemed to be spinning around her as she weaved between trees, occasionally tripping over the long, spiralling roots. Floral blues and pinks swirled with the earthy green and browns making everything look too bright... too surreal. "You can't run forever darling," the voice seemed to gloat. It sounded closer now. Panic filled her, turning her blood to ice._

_'Simon's hideaway,' the fleeting thought sent the raven haired girl flying into a sharp left turn hurtling towards the place that only one other person knew about. Time seemed to have no meaning as she raced on through the forest; she could have been running for hours or merely seconds but she wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Eventually she broke free of the surrounding wood and fell into the meadow. Everything looked much clearer there though the colors were still impossibly bright._

_"Cassi," a different voice whispered in her ear and she was barely able to contain her scream as she spun around to see her friend Ralph looking down at her. His blue eyes seemed empty and his skin sickly pale yet she couldn't help feeling relieved that was there._

_"Ralph," a happy sigh escaped her lips as she threw her arms around him, tears pooling in her eyes. "Ralph we need to get out of here. We need..."_

_"Cassi," he said sharply pulling away from her. It was then that she noticed it. There was a fresh, deep cut across his neck. Blood covered his bare chest and she was suddenly aware of the same substance now coating her shirt, face, and arms. "Why'd you let me die Cassi?" His eyes were cold and accusing and it made her miss the old Ralph, the happy Ralph, even more._

_"Ralph I..."_

_"Why'd you let them kill me Cassi?" a new voice cut in hoarsely and she jumped in surprise. A body was lying, battered and broken not two meters from where she was standing. The only recognizable part of the corpse of marred flesh was the eyes. Those green eyes that had once conveyed so much emotion, so much innocence were now staring at her blankly, empty of life._

_"Simon it..."_

_"Cassi, Cassi, Cassi," a chorus of voices joined in now as more corpses fell to the ground around her; Piggy, Elizabeth, Walter, Caroline, the Little Boy with the Birthmark._

_"Cassi," she was sobbing now as a pair of strong arms encircled her waist. "Why have you been running from me darling?" the voice, Jack's voice whispered in ear. Yet he didn't sound like **her** Jack. Her Jack was a chief chorister and head boy from London whose biggest crime involved getting into trouble with his best friend, her brother, Roger. This Jack had been trapped under an unforgiving island sun for far too long. This Jack had lead his followers to the murder of a boy named Simon, sweet, sweet Simon._

_"Join us Cassi," Ralph said holding out a hand to the amber eyed girl as the others began to chant._

_"Join us, join us, join us."_

_Neither the red head nor the blonde seemed to take notice of each other. Ralph's hand was still outstretched awaiting her decision. Jack began kissing along her neck, jaw, and shoulder paying no mind to the sobs wracking her body or the sticky red substance coating her hands and arem. The group circled around the trio continuing their chant._

_"Join us, join us, join us."_

_Tired, trapped, and filled with guilt she grabbed the fair haired boy's hand and everything faded to black._


	4. AN

Alright my lovely readers don't kill me but before I continue this story I'm going to write the story of how life was on the island for Cassi.

I feel like I know her well enough as a character and that writing out exactly how she got to that point will help a ton.

I'll have the first chapter up within the next couple days! So keep a lookout and I hope you give it a chance.

All my love,

Cassi Merridew


End file.
